Something is resting heavily on my mind tonight, and I could use some input from my readers. Where do you draw the line between warning someone of potential danger, and meddling in their affairs? How do you know if the negative information you’re sharing stems from seeds of unforgiveness, or genuine concern that someone else will be hurt as you were?
I recently found out that a friend is considering sending her child to the school that my boys used to attend, and where I worked for a while. Our experience there ended up being so awful that I feel an obligation to warn others what they might be in for if they choose this particular school. And I told her so.
But is that meddling? Is that just spreading negativity against the person(s) who harmed us? Does it seem vengeful to do so?
I just don’t know. I really don’t know.
Because on the one hand, the bible says not to gossip, that revenge is the Lord’s, to obey the Golden Rule and not wish harm on anyone.
But on the other hand, if I were unknowingly sending my child into a situation that could harm him, as a mom, I would want to know. I’d want to hear all sides to an issue before making a decision. If things ended up going wrong and I found out later that a friend knew this was a potentially bad choice but didn’t tell me, I’d be upset.
I mean, it’s not like we’re talking about an unscrupulous car dealer, or a bad real estate agent. We’re talking about a business that people entrust their little children to. When it’s kids that could ultimately be hurt, I’m much more verbal about exposing unethical behavior.
One of our family’s doctors warned us about this place even as our children went there, and we didn’t listen because we hadn’t encountered any of the things we were hearing about. Other friends who’d left the school in anger told us why and we just thought, well, that won’t happen to us.
But they were right. We should’ve listened. Even the Lord was nudging my heart to move my kids out of that place but I ignored it until the tables were turned on me. And then I knew that everything they’d said was true. And sometimes I still regret not listening soon enough. I regret what my child went through there. It took a couple of years of homeschooling to undo all the damage they did. And in all honesty, if I never see those people again, it will be too soon.
As all the moms out there can testify, you can take a whole lot of crap when it’s directed solely at you, but if somebody hurts your kid, it’s gloves off, baby. It’s hard to let that stuff go. I don’t want to come across as meddling or spiteful, but I don’t want anyone else’s child being hurt like mine was. I simply don’t.
So, the question remains: am I operating from a place of warning, meddling or unforgiveness? I suppose I might be the only one who can really answer that. But I thank you in advance for any feedback!