I’m in the bathroom with the door closed.

Eli: Mom, do you want the heart-shaped lollipop I found in the computer drawer?

(Eww, gross–a sucker left over from Valentine’s Day!)

Me: Umm, no. I don’t want it.

Eli: Well, can I have it?

Me: Umm, well, I guess so.

Eli: ‘Cause I already put it in my mouth.

I laughed.

Eli: Thanks, mom!

I emerged from the bathroom a minute later, and saw a sucker-less Eli, quietly watching TV.

Me: Where’s that lollipop you just asked me about?

Eli: I ate it!

Eli has never known the concept of licking a lollipop and making it last. He takes one or two licks, then demolishes it like the Tasmanian Devil. I cringe at the sound of his teeth crunching through hard candy…it sounds like he’s chewing glass.

I really liked how he asked me if I wanted the candy AFTER he’d already put it in his mouth. Smart kid!