House Rules

Jonah was so psyched about it being the last day of school that he woke up early and immediately started talking.

(This is quite different from most days, when I’m having to pull him upright by the arms, out of a dead sleep as he mumbles for “just five more minutes”.)

He pretty much woke up at the same level he was when this picture was taken at school the other day, during their gingerbread decorating activity:

Crazy J

(You might want to say a prayer for his teachers today.)

Anyway, today’s conversation started like this:

“For Christmas, I want a baby snake that doesn’t have any poison in his body.”

“Sorry, kiddo. I told you the other day…we don’t do ‘pet snakes’ in this house.”

“But whyyyy??? I want a snaaaaake….”

“Because I just don’t like snakes. Dad and I don’t think they make good pets.”

“But whyyyyyyy???”

“Because they just sit in a tank and do nothing. And they carry germs. Eli has asked for years to have a snake, but we’ve told him the same thing I’m telling you. It’s against our house rules: in this house, we don’t have snakes for pets.”

He was quiet for a moment.

“So, when are going to move out of this house?”


Poor kid. You should’ve seen him when he learned that the “house” rules come with us even if we move into another home.

And then that launched into a conversation about how God made moms and dads the bosses of the house and that’s why we get to make the rules, and that when he grows up and moves out, he gets to be rule-maker in his family, and then he almost started crying because he wants to “live with you and Dad forever!” and I lied and told him he never had to move out if he didn’t want to, because what else do you say to a six year old who still loves you that much even after you refused to buy him a snake?

ALL that before I had my coffee.

But the cuteness makes it all OK. (Dogs are perfectly permitted in the Apted House Rules!)