In my never-ending quest to multitask myself to death, I present to you today a post that is both a Top Ten Tuesday piece AND last Sunday’s newspaper column!
Ain’t I special?
Here are the Top Ten things this mama says every day. Don’t you wish you could be an Apted, too? 😆
* * * * * *
Have you ever stopped to think about the things you say most often? Something prompted me to take note of that last week, and I learned that I can be a little demanding sometimes.
My husband is going to read that last sentence and ask why I used the words “little” and “sometimes” when I really meant “hugely” and “always.”
Here are the top ten things I say daily.
10. “Donnie—c’mere!” That’s “Donnie, come here,” for those who don’t speak Southern. Poor husband of mine—I’m constantly asking him to open a jar, change a diaper or reach something on a high shelf. On weekends, I yell it from bed so that he, Mr. Lark, can come get our toddler and let me, Mrs. Night Owl, roll over and doze another hour. Now little Jonah mimics me, most mornings belting out, “Donnie-c’mere!” but still too young to understand why five days out of seven, Dad never shows up because he’s at work.
9. “Alright, guys—let’s get busy!” I say that at least 8,647 times every weekday as I try to round up the boys for their homeschooling lessons, as well as when I have to redirect them after lunch, bathroom breaks and various toddler and pet distractions. And if that kinder, gentler, call-to-work fails, we have item #8.
8. “Don’t make me say this again!” This one is uttered in a much sterner tone, while peering menacingly over my reading glasses. I hate it when I have to get mean, but sometimes, they leave me no choice but to use my Teacher Voice.
7. “Wait—WHAT did you just say to me?” This is hardly ever a true question, unless my husband is mumbling, as he and our firstborn often do. Usually it is merciful me giving them one last chance to change what I heard them say, or apologize for having said it. Occasionally, one of the guys in this house will make the mistake of responding to #8 with a dose of sarcasm and that triggers this reply.
6. “Did you feed the cat/dog/fish?” Now this one, I don’t understand at all. These kids wanted these pets, begged for them, vowed to love and care for and cherish them all their days. So why can’t they remember to take one minute and feed the poor critters? It happens at the same time every single day. It should be as automatic as eating their own breakfast. Why should I have to remind them?
5. “Eat your vegetables.” I’ve given up on trying to hide them, sauce them, make them more appealing. Now they get a small serving of whatever I’ve cooked, however I’ve decided to cook it, and they have to try it. Last night, it was a delicious crispy stir-fried broccoli in a sweet soy sauce. You’d have thought it was arsenic, the way one of my boys reacted.
4. “I don’t care who started it.” Oh, the bickering, the mind-melting, petty ping-pong of childhood fights over nothing important! No one could’ve prepared me for how annoying it is to listen to your own children bicker. No wonder I’ve heard every mother I know say this at some point or another. We truly don’t care who started it—we just want it to stop before our brains turn into Jell-o!
3. “Ask your father.” We’re back to Donnie again. Poor guy. When I don’t want to think about something, or when I don’t want to be responsible for how something turns out, I tell the boys to go ask their father. Half the time, he bounces them back to me. The rest of the time, if things go wrong, it’s all on him for a change.
2. “Because I said so.” Parenting expert John Rosemond says that modern moms don’t use this phrase enough. And I think he’s right. Sometimes, there is no better reason for making a child do something than simply because I said so.
And, the number one thing I—and the rest of the family—say these days?
“Jonah, NO!” Because the little guy is two. And our world is his playground. And that needs no further explanation.
Link up your own Top Ten Tuesday list at Many Little Blessings.